Body Positivity
Mom Urged Everyone To Think About How Body Compliments Can Be Harmful
Our attention is being drawn to the unrealistic societal expectation of postpartum bodies.
Sarah Nicole Landry is a body confidence advocate and her newest post has shined a light on how positive remarks made about a postpartum body can potentially cause more harm than good. She decided to speak up after reflecting on how much women were perpetuating the subject matter and the praise around whether or not they looked like a former version of themselves quickly or not.
Known as @thebirdspapaya, Nicole aims to open up more windows and doors for women to express how they felt postpartum with body comments.
She told BuzzFeed: “I started to reflect on the way that we were viewing women’s bodies postpartum. I myself felt fragile when I was watching other women who had babies around the same time as me, and they were just so praised for how quickly they returned to a body that looks like it has never had a child, when my body just never did that. It has never done that.”
Nicole’s post on Instagram included screenshots of compliments that were made about another woman’s body just after she had recently given birth.
One of the comments read: “Okay, how don’t you have a postpartum body??? You’re amazing.” Another read: “Body snapped back like it’s nothing wow.”
In the caption, Nicole revealed: “No, these comments weren’t for me. They were for a fellow mother on her own postpartum journey days after birth.” She added: “Her individual journey. Her individual body. And yet, such reactions from onlookers. ‘Respect.’ Goals,’ Snap back queen,’ What baby? I’ve personally never heard these comments, and I’m thankful (in a way).”
Nicole insisted she can’t help but see the damage such comments could cause all the readers, the future birthers, and the woman herself.
She continued: “Body comments, we say, are never ok. But we did consider the positive ones to be potentially damaging too? The reality is, we have no idea what anyone is going through. At the height of my [journey], body compliments were at a low in my life. A rock bottom. From the surface, I was an accomplishment. Beneath it, I was falling apart.”
Nicole concluded: “A reminder, I suppose, that when the world gets loud for you, reflect in your silence. When the world gets quiet for you, get loud for yourself. And to remember that even a positive body comment may be a negative one. We just never know.”
In her interview with BuzzFeed, the body advocate shared that her body fluctuated and changed but never returned. She stated: “And it was almost like the silence. The silence was loud for me because I didn’t hear these comments. I didn’t hear ‘oh my gosh,’ snap back queen. Did you even have a baby? I look like I’ve had a baby. I will always look like I’ve had a baby.”
Nicole hopes people will continue to have conversations on body compliments, insisting ‘it’s okay to ebb & flow.”
She advised new moms: “Our first thoughts are the ones conditioned for us, the things that have been shaped by decades of bodily narratives, and then, our second thoughts are the ones we are choosing to replace it with. So, it’s not to say that women going through postpartum aren’t gonna have a slew of thoughts and fears like I’ve had about wanting to snap back.”
“And if you can’t love your body emotionally, which is one thing I struggle with, I can love my body with actions.”
Nicole added: “Sometimes, that’s creating boundaries, whether it’s on social media or with body comments, vocalizing when you need to have less conversations about those things, and just getting loud for yourself in those quiet, lonely moments that often come postpartum.” However, her followers on Instagram have since shared their experiences with receiving compliments after giving birth.
There appears to be a consensus that most people didn’t enjoy receiving any comments, including positive ones.
Some reflected on their bodily changes and how hearing opinions changed the way they viewed themselves.
