Lifestyle
‘I Got Divorced After 14 Years, 5 Things I’d Never Do In A Relationship’
“I would not care what people thought, or could think, about me.”
A divorcee has decided to share what she’s learned from her relationship after being married for 14 years. Anna Cordelia is a beauty influencer for “real world busy women” who occasionally talk about relationship lessons as well.
Despite being married for 14 years, Anna’s marriage ended, and she knew she could help prevent others from going through similar hardships as her.
Anna told her 15.4k followers on TikTok, “I’m going to go with five things I would never do now I’ve got divorced. For context, we were together for 18 years and married for 14, and we have two beautiful children.”
She compiled them into five points and began with the first one:
“Never would I ignore the ‘I’m not happy, but I’m neither unhappy’ feeling. That limbo feeling is the worst. If you’re really unhappy, you know it. If you’re really happy, you know it – but that bit in the middle, that’s scary.”
“I wouldn’t sit there waiting for something really bad to happen to justify why I want a divorce. You can have a divorce if you want a divorce, but if you’re not happy for any reason, you can do it.”
“It could be because they left a KitKat wrapper on the floor, or it could be something really bad, but you do not need to justify your reasons,” she continued and moved to the third point, which is related.
“I would not care what people thought, or could think, about me.”
And she’s most worried if people would start treating her family differently after the divorce. But eventually, she learned that she shouldn’t be focused on those things. She said, “The thing is I have a daughter, and there’s no way if she made a choice to separate or get divorced that I would tell her, ‘There’s your bed, go and lie in it.’”
“I wouldn’t tell her to settle; I wouldn’t tell her to make do. Your kids don’t need you to be married; they need you to be happy.”
“I didn’t. I just had the most basic document drafted up. There’s nothing to protect me in the future. It’s ok as we have a decent relationship now, but there is nothing there, and I’ll be honest, that is a little bit scary.”
And most importantly, to “never trade her happiness against anything.”
“You might have an amazing social life. You might be the perfect parent and be in that power couple. None of that is worth any part of a lifetime of unhappiness. You are not trading that in. You are not being selfish; there’s nothing to trade in.”
“If you are unhappy, your only choice is to do something about it.”
Watch below for her full exposition on marriage lessons you don’t want to miss!
@kitkatsclarte #5thingsiwouldneverdo #5things #5thingschallenge #divorced #divorcedwomen #divorcetok #womenover #womenover30 #womenover40 #womenover50 #womensupportingotherwomen #pmdd @ANNA CORDELIA CONFIDENCE TIPS @ANNA CORDELIA CONFIDENCE TIPS @ANNA CORDELIA CONFIDENCE TIPS original sound – ANNA CORDELIA CONFIDENCE TIPS
