Beauty
‘I’m 39 And Single, People Tell Me I’m A Leftover But I Know What I Want’
Hermet’s message to people struggling with being single is: “don’t ever blame yourself.”
Being single or childless at age 30 comes with insults from today’s society. Clara Hermet is a recent victim but she couldn’t be happier in her skin. It all started when the 39-Year-Old told her TikTok followers she was childless and had never been married. It instantly generated responses she never expected, including being told she’s a LEFTOVER.
The East London-based started making videos about single life on her page and has since created a space for single women to feel loved and empowered.
In her first-ever video from two years ago, Hermet showed herself standing while telling people she’s 37 and single. She told The DailyStar she had no intention of making it a focus of her social media content and alleged the responses at the time were amazing and as a result, she had to do more. But soon comments also poured in with some hate attached.
“People were telling me I’m a leftover woman. There were lots of things that were not that nice,” Hermet said.
While the beauty speaks openly about the single life, she admitted it would be wonderful if she could find love one day. Hermet has been in love before and believes she can find the perfect one. As for loneliness, it’s not something she worries about. She added: “I don’t feel lonely. There are people in relationships who feel lonely or unseen, being in a relationship doesn’t make you happy.”
For Hermet, the one advantage of growing older has been getting to know and love herself and knowing exactly what she wants in a partner.
She spoke of social media’s impact on people’s thinking, stating: “It does impact how people think. You can scroll through Instagram and see lots of perfect relationships and it can make you feel like you’re missing out. But you need to realize it’s just a highlight reel. You’re not going to see the arguments or the personality traits that cause tension in the relationship.”
Hermet insisted that sometimes people can get fixated on the idea of what perfect dates should be like, as certain scenarios are played out on social media.
She feels the played-out scenarios online put pressure on men and also runs the risk of things becoming more materialistic. As for dating apps, Hermet thinks they’re great tools and knows people who are in happy relationships as a result of swiping for love. But they’re not something she’s particularly got on with when she tried her hands at the apps.
“I didn’t like how it was making me feel emotionally,” Hermet said of dating apps.
She added: “It was taking a lot of my time and it made me feel like I was lacking something. I didn’t want to feel like that. I’m not saying I wouldn’t do it again but at that point in my life, it didn’t work for me. They do work though.” While she hasn’t found her forever partner, Hermet knows she’s far from a leftover woman.
Confidence is something that comes with age & experience and she got to know herself in her 30s.
“I took myself to the cinema on my own and I took myself for a meal. I went to Mexico on my own last year. I travelled on my own when I was 32. My mum and sister both died of breast cancer and that puts me in a bit of a different position. I want to live my life. I’m just going to go for it. I’m happy and I believe if you exude happiness and positivity, then you will attract the right person.”
The presenter hopes to break the stereotypes that you have to follow a certain timeline in life to succeed.
She continued: “You grow up feeling like your life is having a partner and having children. It feels like if you don’t get that then you’re a failure. You feel ashamed. I think there’s not so much pressure now, my grandparents got married in their late teens/early twenties, my parents in their mid-twenties but things are different now.”
As for advice she would give to people struggling with being single, Hermet’s message is: “don’t ever blame yourself.”
She stressed that the most important thing to remember is that life is different for everyone and having to ride solo for a while doesn’t mean there are any issues with who you are. “There’s nothing wrong with you. Sometimes it just is what it is. I have a good relationship with myself, and I’ve seen all these things.” Hermet insisted that women can also buy a house or rent and women can vote.
She concluded: “Being in a relationship is a wonderful thing, but there are situations where people can be in a relationship and it doesn’t mean they’re happy.”
