18 Pettiest Reasons Divorce Lawyers Have Heard From Their Clients

When you think celebrity gossips are ridiculous at times, this whole list shows that there are way, way crazier stories out there. And if you’re into listening to the juiciest turn of events in people’s relationships, you’ll love these stories from divorce lawyers.

A viral topic had got people swarming in for the stories. A user asked, “Divorce Lawyers of Reddit, what’s the most outrageous reason someone filed for divorce?”

1.

“I’m a lawyer, but not a divorce lawyer. This happened to a colleague of mine some years ago. His client was a man who filed for divorce because his wife used to hang her panties on the shower handle after washing them. They had several fights about it, which culminated in a relatively costly divorce. I don’t know if I would call it outrageous, but it sure seems quite silly.” – Mezorick_

2.

“Colleague handled a case where money was not an issue, but the kids were. Neither parent wanted them.” – virtuallEeverywhere

3.

“My mom is a family law lawyer, and she told me that a man divorced his wife after a car accident broke her jaw because she could no longer give head.” – tjc0434

4.

“One of our clients thought his wife was having an affair. Really she was just driving around all hours of the night playing Pokémon GO. They still got divorced.” – deeunit7810

5.

“My dad was a divorce lawyer. He had a client who wanted to divorce her husband for 2 reasons:
1. He did not have enough hair on his chest.
2. He did not drive fast enough.
Keep in mind this was in the ’70s when chest hair was a bit more important.” – Bodhi_ZA

6.

“We once had a case where the husband and wife decided to start having a threesome with their lesbian friend. Then they both fell in love with her and started sleeping with her separately behind each other’s backs. The whole thing blew up when the husband got her pregnant. Man reading the emails for discovery and doing the depositions was fun for that case.” – bweiner89

7.

“A woman divorced her husband because he refused to treat her like Christian treats Ana in Fifty Shades of Grey. I am not kidding.” – MysteryGirlWhite

8.

“A friend of mine got married when she was 19 so she could drink at the bar (in Wisconsin, you can drink underage with a parent or a spouse). Then when she turned 21, she got a divorce since she was legal to drink w/o him. Seems like an easy in and out transaction but oh no. The biggest item they fought over was the garage beer refrigerator. Go figure.” – itslooseseal

9.

“At my last firm, we did general law, which included probate. A couple did their will with our firm. We drafted everything; they were mid-70s to early ’80s. Married 40 years total. Divorced and remarried once. Husband wanted us to put in his will that his kids get his entire estate but did not want us to tell his wife.

He wanted to have us make a secret will and a fake will. The fake will would be signed with her present, and then he wanted us to shred it, and he will come in later to sign the “real will.” He copied his wife on the email that had all of this information disclosed in it.

2 weeks later, he called us and said he wanted to file for divorce instead.” – PetiteChaos

10.

“I knew a guy from a high school job who divorced his wife of 2 months because she would sleep with a nightlight, but he could only sleep in total darkness, as they apparently never lived together until after getting married. He hated her nightlight so much that he would often sleep on the couch instead, but sometimes he would claim the bed for himself and lock her out of the bedroom for the night.

This was an eccentric late 40s man working at a burger king who acted like all the other high school coworkers were his best chums and often told us these weird stories. I’m glad I don’t work with him anymore.” – yeerk_slayer

11.

“A 46-year marriage was broken because his old high school girlfriend was single again (we represented the wife). I learned later the guy married the old girlfriend THE SAME DAY the divorce was finalized.” –SquirrelMcPants

12.

“Every morning, this couple would sit in the bathroom together while one of them had their morning dump. One would sit on the toilet and the other on the rim of the bathtub.

This particular morning the wife was on the toilet and husband on the edge of the tub. They started to argue about their relationship so the wife reaches down, pulls her tampon out, and flings it at husband. I’m told the tampon stuck for a brief second to his forehead before sliding off. He filed for divorce that same day or the next.” – terry_thegnome

13.

“My aunt had a case where the wife had glued all of the outdoor hoses together so he wouldn’t spend more time washing his vehicle anymore. When the glue didn’t work she just cut them all up. When he bought new ones, she filed for divorce.” – amazinglymorgan

14.

“A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s**t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.” – sxcamaro

15.

“Had a client come in because he said the wrong person’s name during the wedding ceremony. The worst part? That wasn’t the first or the last time I saw him. Never have I had so much repeat business from one client.” – Here_have_a_downvote

16.

“I was a legal assistant when this case came in, but this lady divorced her husband of two months because he got her an iPad case for her birthday instead of the expensive jewelry she wanted.” – salamanderlemons

17.

“I was involved in a case where a lady was pursuing a case for ‘Unreasonable Behaviour’ because her then husband on going to bed, would stand at the foot of the bed, dropping his trousers and pants (nothing wrong, there), then bend double to step out of his underwear (nice view, – still reasonable though), sit on the bed, then slide up the bed, with his back to her. She had noticed that after a couple of days, brown streaks would appear, in parallel lines, going up the quilt…

When she showed her husband ‘the evidence’, he stated, “Those are scorch marks from ironing!” She proceeded to remove said scorch marks with a damp cloth, saying, “Scorch marks do not wipe off!” This brought some laughter in the court, especially when the Gentlemen admitted that he used only a small amount of toilet paper because ‘his poo was always hard and Never runny.'” – glibmanoeuvrE72

18.

“My father’s best friend divorced his wife over her cooking. Apparently, every day he would come home to amazing cooked meals. Here, she couldn’t cook at all and was ordering food from different restaurants.

She even went as far as dirtying pots and pans to make it look like she cooked all day. She got a way with this for almost a year before he caught on. This was back in the day before you could check your bank statements online, and since she did all the billing, he didn’t notice how much money was missing that she was spending on take out.” – Kratsas