How many people here sought out ways to handle the things they really dislike from the people they are close with? It can be maddening when you don’t like pineapples on your pizza but your partner does, yet, you can never understand how you fell in love with this person.
One of the biggest reasons that people experience a fallout in a relationship is differences. Differences in belief, in raising kids, in political views, and even trivial things like the color you want to paint your bedroom in. And sometimes, you wished your partner can just understand and agree with you.
What if we tell you that the secret to handling differences isn’t by listing out 10 logical reasons they should listen to you, but by a slight chance in your head?
What is good will? It’s a motivation that pushes you to act or speak in a way that helps people to grow. Good will doesn’t exist by nature – it’s something that we have to work on. You want your partner to grow and become a better person always, but we’re not talking about gaining promotion in their job or earning more salary.
Good will allows you to dive deep into the other person’s thinking and try to understand the reasons they do things. Instead of “Why won’t he listen to me?”, try “Let’s see what he has to say and if it makes sense.”
When it comes to differences, you can never actually remove them from a relationship equation. No matter how much both of you click, two different individuals can never share the exactly same personalities. So what you can do is actually to “manage” them.
- Raise your self-awareness. What kind of person are you at home, at work and when you’re alone? What kind of things that you feel very particular about and cannot compromise in?
- Take your time to sit down and talk to your partner about the differences both of you have. It doesn’t have to be a serious situation where you leave an official letter saying, “We need to talk.” Set up a romantic or casual get up to make the conversation enjoyable and lead to a positive result.
- Understand that it takes time to adjust. Smoking and drinking are habits that can’t be stopped overnight. Encourage partners who have tried hard.