Getting a girlfriend/boyfriend is just the beginning of everything. If you are ready to give your all into committing with your partner, you know that it’s going to be an even harder journey to take. Everything about the first date is sunshine, sweet and beautiful.
But everything about marriage can be violent, destructive and chaotic. The aftermath is sometimes so ugly, you don’t think a romantic relationship is something you want to be in anymore.
These are 10 ways you should behave and remember if you want to build a solid relationship with that significant other. It’s not impossible to have a healthy relationship and long-lasting marriage with your significant other.
1. Be Fair
“This is unfair!” A woman screamed into the face of her husband. They are fighting over a promise the husband made when they were engaged – that they will live in their own house in the middle of New York City and they will be happily ever after. They’re still on the 5th year of their lease in a small apartment and nothing seems to have changed.
Your partner may have promised something that seemed so good and beautiful – and now you realized it’s too good to be true and you think that he’s being unfair and not keeping his promises.
But hey, that’s what people drunk in love do – they make crazy promises, but it isn’t like the other person is not doing his best. Sit down and talk about it together, figure out how ‘you’ can help contribute to your partner.
When it comes to having someone you want to live with forever, that also means you are revealing your weaknesses to your partner. Let that be that small patch of baldness in your hair or that you have horrible childhood times, make sure that all of these are being kept well in the family.
Both of you are in this together and you help each other up during your worst times. So, make sure to protect each other’s vulnerability, no matter how small and insignificant it might have been to you, or how intense the argument you just had. Because that is also one way you build trust in each other.
Be there when they need it. It’s as simple as that. Sometimes, your partner doesn’t ask you to do anything heroic for them – they just need someone that can listen to them when they need it. You show it through your actions and tell others at the end of the day, “Priorities.”
4. Respect differences
People are born with different characteristics, personalities, and background. Before you establish your relationship with someone, it’s very important that you learn, not only what you have in common, but also what may be conflicting about the two of you. Some of the most common things that cause cracks in a relationship are religious belief and political views.
We can’t tell you how to support or how far you should tolerate, but ensure that both of you are able to manage and talk about the differences that exist. Some people choose to respect each other’s view and avoid confrontational topics when they know it can lead to a heated debate.
So, the problems happened. Nothing new about that. The very moment you were born, you were already a problem for your parents because your mom was in pain and your family has another mouth to feed. But all of you got through it together and look at you now, all grown up, healthy, and seeking for someone to begin a family.
People make mistakes from time to time and most of the time, your partner didn’t mean the words they said when they are angry and upset. The world is full of triggers that will put us in a bad mood, so sometimes, it’s good to take time to cool down, apologize and understand.
6. Stay healthy
Among the things that people are lacking attention in is health. A healthy partner helps contribute to a healthy relationship, but we’re not saying that you shouldn’t date someone with cancer. What we’re saying is that two people who love each other will care enough to make sure that they can work for each other as long as possible.
Self-harming partner is a pretty often issue that people face in life. What’s very conflicting is that people who hurt themselves can never be let alone for too long. Yet, you could be the trigger to their self-destructive behavior. Consult to therapists and psychologists to seek the best way you can help and work with their family members.
If putting a distance between the two of you will lead the best result, work on it. You never know if a month or a decade later, you will meet the other person and start again on a more positive note.
7. Sacrifice not the relationship
Trust cannot be built without sacrifices. But some people sacrifice too much that they destroy their life unnecessarily. Is that what’s happening to your relationship?
Priorities must take place, but one should healthily analyze what the most important thing is right now and if others can be postponed. Depending on the stage of a relationship, couples who are not yet married may still be engaged in self-search activities. Married couples may find that taking two days off as parents for quality time help enhance their relationship.
8. Love, not subjugation
A relationship quickly becomes toxic when partners begin to think that it’s okay to lash out to their significant other. This is natural for many because they think their partner is a punching bag that will accept anything. Because they ‘love’ each other.
Remember that your partner is NOT a punching bag. Your partner wants to help you relieve your bad mood and stress, but there are many human ways to do it. Being nice to your partner is not something that you do just to be able to court someone. It’s something you maintain, something that you mean to do from your heart.
Reflecting on your mistakes is not easy. Many people find it hard to admit their own mistakes and stand in front of their significant other to say sorry. Self-reflection isn’t as easy as simply admitting and apologizing. It involves invoking your inner-self desire to change.
You need to stop this bad behavior and you know it will make your significant other happy. It’s not about accepting you for who you are, but to change for the better of not just yourself, but also others.
10. The role of the head of the family
Patriarchy was a very prominent culture back in the days. Men hold absolute decision in things while women heed to their words. However, such a culture is also colored with women enslavement and oppression. These days, women have the ability to say more and make their opinions heard.
But here’s how a woman’s voice can destroy a family – with the lack of a proper alpha in a family, it’s only a matter of time before a clash of opinion happens. It’s truly important that both men and women be able to establish one as the head of the family who will not only listen but also make a solid decision for the better of the family.